The other day I stumbled upon this old blog of mine that I almost started years and years ago. That was a tumultuous time in my life; I was engaged in spiritual-seeking and spending a lot of time in nature while I was working at re-creating myself. I sought out signs and symbols along the way to keep myself moving with a positive frame of mind. I believe God uses many means to reach out to us and for me, nature has always been the place I hear Him most clearly. The Blue Heron is one symbol that spoke to me the most. A very close second is the dragonfly (I will write about that one another day). And very close to that one is the sea-turtle. This post will be about how the Blue Heron has touched my life.
Mom and Dad used to live on Lake Vermilion, a large still very clean lake in northern Minnesota. I was one lucky kid to have been raised on fresh air, cool crisp water and the pines. Anyway, they were graced with a single Blue Heron who lived in the swampy area next to their lot. I don't know if it's true or not and obviously I am too lazy to look it up, but we had heard they mate for life - "George" (as they named him, though for the life of me I don't know why) must have lost his mate because he was always alone.
After Dad died, Mom sold the lake lot. I went up there on my own for one last time to sit on the dock and to take some of the rocks for my garden so I could have a piece of Lake Vermilion with me where ever I lived (they are now in my garden in Ashby). Sitting on the dock, feeling the deep angst that you only feel upon losing someone you love, I glanced over and spotted George and in an instant peace washed over me. He just stood there so peaceful and strong and I like to think I borrowed some of his strength to get me through getting up, walking to my car and driving away from the very place that held all my childhood memories and represented family and love. I knew I was closing one of the biggest chapters of my life that day and Lake Vermilion has never been the same for me. I treasure this picture of George more than I even imagined I would the day I captured it.
The Blue Heron makes a noticeable debut in my conscious again on Fourth of July weekend in 2011. I was contemplating divorce but hadn't told anyone yet and this is when I really started to seek out time in nature on my own (well, my snorting side-kick Spanky the Pug was also usually with me). I bought myself a kayak and spent a lot of time paddling that summer. This particular weekend, the lake was loud and boisterous with everyone having their summer fun. This city lake was not the retreat I longed for at all as I kept myself safe from speedboats, water skiers and jet skiers. I spotted the Blue Heron only because I was forced to stay so close to the shore. This time, it wasn't peace that washed over me, it was actually a deep sadness. It was like he was overlooking the chaos wishing everyone would leave his home. The clincher for me on setting this mood was the empty potato chip bag that floated past me as we both looked out on the lake. When I got home I wrote a poem about it which I titled "Intruders."
A blue Heron stands stately in the shadows,
overseeing the chaos that is before him:
Roaring boats filled with screaming kids
going around and around,
creating wave upon wave -
as a family of ducks tries to paddle along.
Drunken laughter echoes through the trees.
An empty bag of greasy potato chips floats by,
along with one uneaten soaked Cheetoh.
Roaring.
Screaming.
Laughing.
Until, mercifully, Sunday evening falls upon the lake -
and the Heron flies out from the shadows,
still unseen by the masses who have, for now, left his home.
By Janelle Bennett
When I posted this on Facebook, I think I made some people uneasy because it described the very fun they themselves enjoyed over the holiday weekend. I didn't mean to be "judgmental." I grew up on the lake with a dad who preferred speed to tranquility. However Dad was respectful of nature and taught us to be as well (well --- he may have chased a duck or two with his jet in his younger years - ugh, Dad!!) Side note: He loved torturing his timid daughter by really punching it down and roaring over the lake, with that happy smirk on his face as I held on for dear life. Anyway, I didn't want to make others feel bad for having their fun, but my heart always aches for nature and the way we clomp through it without regard. At any rate, it was after this re-encounter with the mighty blue that I looked up the symbolism. I used what I read like a "guide for life" to carry me through the next several years.
"According to North American Native tradition, the Blue Heron brings messages of self-determination and self-reliance. They represent an ability to progress and evolve. The long thin legs of the heron reflect that an individual doesn't need great massive pillars to remain stable, but must be able to stand on one's own.
Blue Herons have the innate wisdom of being able to manoeuvre through life and co-create their own circumstances. Blue Herons reflect a need for those with this totem to follow their own unique wisdom and path of self-determination. These individuals know what is best for themselves and need to follow their hearts rather than the promptings of others. Those with the Medicine of the Great Blue Heron may sit until the rest of us loose patience. And, when they follow the promptings of the heart, they are one of the most magnificent when they choose to soar.
This is the message that Blue Heron brings."
As I now re-read that paragraph that so deeply moved me all those years ago and actually gave me the strength I needed to forge ahead, I have lost some of the deep connection I had to it all. I guess that is because my life is stable now and I am content and happy. I am no longer "seeking answers," I am simply living life.
I do not want to completely lose the message, however, and that is why I have decided to open this Blog again; keep it alive and active. We are never "done" progressing and evolving. I may not be desperate to seek answers, but I am always looking for the meaning of life and ways to grow as a person. I have had many such moments since getting married to the love of my life so late in life with both of us having pasts. There is always something within ourselves we need to overcome, heal, learn from, evolve from, progress from so we can be a better version of ourselves.
As I start the new year - 2017 - I am excited to be re-connected with this blog and re-awaken the writer within. Writing is usually the way I process life and even though I am an introvert, I always have a desire to connect with others on deeper subjects than we might regularly find on Facebook. So, I will be back as I feel the calling to share - and I do hope to reconnect with others doing the same. Thanks and have a great 2017! May you find strength to try new things, love to surround you and experiences to create warm, happy memories. <3
